That weird story that follows that weird movie with weird characters
by Gaston1991
Summary: Post-movie, Utena is in real life with her friends, but she has to face new enemies!


Special thanks to MikoGalatea, the beta reader of my story and who really help me and my basics English.

Utena and Anthy were now in the real world. Utena, who was no longer a car, looked at her lover.

''Anthy...''

''Utena...''

''There you are,'' said a male voice.

The lovers turned their heads and saw Saionji. The teenage boy seemed normal at first, but then blood started spraying out of his nose. The blood sprinkled everything around, including the girls' bodies. Before the girls can do anything, Saionji had lost all his blood in seconds. His body fell to the floor, dead.

''Oh my God!'' said Utena. ''What just happened?''

''I think the author killed him because he didn't have ideas for him,'' commented Anthy. ''I hope Saionji fans won't read this.''

Suddenly, Juri and Miki appeared.

''Miss Utena! Miss Anthy!'' said the boy. ''We're in real life, too!''

''Saionji!'' Juri exclaimed. ''What happened? Utena! Anthy! Why do you only have blood on you?!''

It was only after Juri's comment that they noticed their nudity.

''I understand why he had a nosebleed like the guys in those stupid ecchi anime,'' said Utena.

''Oh look Utena,'' said Anthy, ''the blood is turning into clothes! Everything's fine.''

''Wait, wasn't Wakaba with us, turned into a car?'' Juri asked. ''And didn't we turn back to Ohtori? Is this scene really following the movie, or is the author just trying to remember what happened at the end without even checking the movie ending again?''

''I have an idea!'' Utena said before the readers started having the same questions Juri had. ''I'll invite all of you to my house!''

Anthy, Miki and Juri all agreed it was a good idea. Utena started walking, and everyone followed her. They forgot about Saionji's corpse because they were jerks.

xx

''I will get my vengeance!'' said a mysterious voice. ''I know Utena lives at her aunt's house! I'll go there and make her miserable!''

''Understood!'' said another mysterious voice.

''Moo!'' said a mysterious animal.

xx

The gang was now in front of Utena's house, which was a beautiful Japanese house.

''I live here with my aunt Yurika,'' explained Utena. ''She's very nice.''

Unbeknownst to the group, someone was watching them via a window in the first floor. He talked to someone on the phone.

''Utena is here!'' said Mikage, ''Yes, mistress, I will do as you wish!''

The group entered the house, and Utena showed them different rooms.

''Here's the living room!'' Utena said.

''The couch look nice,'' commented Juri. ''Can Miki and I sit there?"

''Sure,'' Utena smiled. ''Do you want a drink?''

Both Miki and Juri asked for water. Utena went to the kitchen, followed by Anthy. Both Miki and Juri sat on the couch. They looked at one another. They could see love in each other's eyes. Juri moved quietly to Miki and kissed him on the mouth. Miki then kissed her back and embraced her in his arms.

''Choo! Choo!'' said a train that went into the living room and disappeared into a tunnel.

In the kitchen, Utena was pouring water into glasses. Anthy decided to prepare food with what she had found in the fridge. Then Mikage, with female clothes on him, arrived in the room.

''Hello, Utena,'' said Mikage in a neutral voice.

''Oh, aunt Yurika!'' Utena said with joy. ''I want to present to you Anthy Himemiya, my new lover!''

''Nice to meet you,'' smiled Mikage.

Anthy feel something was wrong with Utena's aunt. She was even afraid by her, and hid behind Utena's back.

''Anthy! Don't be shy! My aunt is a very nice and normal aunt who suddenly looks younger than the last time I saw her and who is also as flat as a male... oh, auntie, I want to present to you two friends I met at Ohtori!''

''I'd be happy to see them,'' Mikage smiled again.

The trio went to the living room. They accidentally interrupted Juri and Miki, who were still kissing.

''Oh, sorry!'' Utena said. ''I didn't know you were a couple!''

''This is... recent...'' Juri blushed.

''Who is that man?'' asked Miki.

''Miki!'' Utena said furiously. ''Don't insult my aunt!''

''Oh, sorry. I thought since you like boy's clothes...''

''That's alright, Utena,'' Mikage said. ''I'm not mad. I even have presents for them.''

Mikage gave Juri and Miki a black rose each, and immediately put those next to their hearts.

''Oh no!'' Anthy panicked. ''Blacks roses! That's bad!''

''What?'' Utena said.

But it was too late. Juri and Miki were possessed by Mikage!

''Stupid girl!'' Mikage laughed. ''I'm not your aunt! My name is Souji Mikage and I hate you, Utena!''

''Why?'' asked Utena. ''I don't even know you!''

''Oh, that's easy! A long time ago, I was a normal teacher at Ohtori. I only cared about studying, but then I fell in love with a woman... and her brother too... For once in my life, I felt emotions! The three of us had fun together, but then one day the brother died, and I was so sad that I accidentally caused a fire! I died in the fire...''

Mikage stopped talked to cry a little.

''That's sad, but what's the link with me?'' Utena asked.

''That's simple! I was so traumatized that when I died, I became a ghost that never aged and cried all the times. I cried so much that I turned into a statue. But it was a statue nobody could see. Then one day, a girl said hello to me and read my name on the statue. I became a real human and I decided to serve this girl, my mistress. I hate you because she hates you too!''

Utena tried to understand, but the mindscrew was just too much for her. ''My mind! I think that destroyed my mind!"'

''Anyway, now your two friends feel nothing but hate!'' Mikage said with a sadistic smile.

''Hate! Hate! Hate!'' exclaimed the two victims.

Utena turned her head to look at Anthy.

''Anthy, do you know what to do?''

''Yes. Utena, you have to use your sword and remove the floors.''

''But... I don't want to duel them anymore!'' Utena said, which was probably out-of-character for her but the author just didn't care.

Mikage laughed. He thought he had won.

''I hate...'' Juri said, ''...when someone wants to use me against a friend!''

''Me too!'' exclaimed Miki. ''We should kick his ass!''

''Wait... _what?!_'' Mikage said.

Miki and Juri started punching and kicking Mikage several times. The poor man was soon on the floor; he tried to move away, but Miki and Juri were quicker than him!

xx

The violence against Mikage was so horrible that the author decided to present a short movie instead.

The adventures of Mr. Kiryuu.

The man was relaxing on a beach.

''Oh wow, a movie about me!'' Mr. Kiryuu said. ''I cannot wait to see what will happen!''

Suddenly, a train arrived and crushed him. He died in a very gruesome way.

The end.

xx

Utena had used her sword, and Miki and Juri were now normal. Mikage was injured all over and wasn't able to move.

''Now listen,'' Utena said, ''who is your mistress?''

Before Mikage could say anything, they all heard from outside... cows mooing! The four friends went outside and see a herd of cows around the house.

''I like cows!'' Anthy said while petting one. ''That's a nice present, Utena!''

''I didn't know there were cows here!'' exclaimed Utena.

''HAHAHAHA!'' Someone was laughing.

They turned their heads and saw a blonde haired teenage girl and a young blond haired boy.

''You can't stop me!'' said the girl, ''I can control cows, and they can kill you if I want them to!''

''Who are you?'' asked Utena, confused as to why a girl she didn't know would want to kill her.

''My name is Nanami Kiryuu!''

Her last name surprised both Juri and Utena.

''Kiryuu...'' Juri said.

''Are you related to Touga?'' asked Utena.

''He was my cousin. I only met him once for an hour when I was 4 years old. He told me I was the woman of his life... but I couldn't be with him because he had you!''

''Geez, that's five women now that have told me that,'' said Utena. ''I'm starting to wonder if my Touga wasn't a bit of a womanizer.''

''I'll kill you with my cows!'' Nanami laughed.

''Hey, why only me and not Juri too? Touga died because he saved her!''

''WHAT?! Then she'll die too!"'

''Thanks, Utena,'' Juri said coldly.

''Who's the boy?'' asked Miki.

''I am Mitsuru Tsuwabuki, Nanami's slave!''

Juri and Utena were completely disgusted by what he had said.

''Oh my God, you're into little boys!'' exclaimed Utena.

''Horrible!'' Juri said.

''He's not _that_ kind of slave!'' Nanami said. ''You piss me off! I'm going to kill all of you! Cows, kill them!''

The cows didn't react. Nanami was shocked. This was the first time they hadn't obeyed her!

''Tsuwabuki, why aren't they killing them?!''

''I don't know... Look!''

He pointed at Anthy, who was petting one cow, then another and another...

''It's alright, Utena. The cows are all our friends!''

''Good job, Anthy!''

Utena kissed Anthy.

Nanami was furious. ''That witch! I didn't even had the time to... OH MY GOD!"'

''Nanami? What's wrong?'' asked Tsuwabuki.

''I'm a villain in the story and they defeated me before I really did anything... I... I'm a useless villain in a stupid story!''

Nanami cried and Tsuwabuki hugged her.

''Don't worry, Nanami. I'm here for you.''

Nanami stopped crying. She looked at Tsuwabuki with a smile. She kissed him, and then an egg fell out of her pants!

''Oh, my first egg!'' Nanami said. ''That means we're a couple now!''

''I'm so happy!'' Tsuwabuki said.

That touched the gang so much that they started clapping their hands.

''Congratulations!'' said Utena.

''Congratulations!'' said Anthy.

''Congratulations!'' said Juri.

''Congratulations!'' said Miki.

''Congratulations!'' said the entire cast of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Mikage suddenly appeared behind the group. ''I see you all forgot about me!'' he said.

''Mikage!'' Utena exclaimed. ''I thought you couldn't move because of your injures!''

''I'm dead! How can I be injured?!''

''Then why you was injured in the last scene?'' asked Miki.

''Don't point out plot holes!'' yelled Mikage. ''Do you know how much the author put in this story?!''

''Oh boy, I don't want see how it is when he _doesn't_ put effort in a story,'' said Nanami.

''By the way, who is your mistress?'' asked Anthy.

''Oh, what a coincidence!'' Mikage said. ''She is here!''

He pointed at something with his finger. Everyone looked in that direction.

''Tsuwabuki!'' Mari yelled.

''Oh my God, Mari was the big bad of this story!'' Utena said. ''What a twist!''

''What are you talking about?'' Mari frowned. ''I'm just here to help Tsuwabuki by yelling at him and insulting him! I'm not the big bad!''

''Indeed,'' said a very cute voice.

They all focused on a beautiful and graceful girl.

''Shiori!'' Juri exclaimed.

''Wait, I thought she was dead,'' Anthy said.

''Actually, no,'' smiled Shiori. It was a beautiful smile, but that wasn't a surprise coming from such an extraordinary girl who was, without a doubt, the best character in the show.

''Hey, wait a minute!'' said Nanami. ''Why is the narration treating her like a goddess?''

''Because I _am_ one,'' said the nice and gentle girl, while light surrounded her like she was an angel.

''Angel?'' Utena frowned. ''She was a jerk in the movie! I mean, sure, Touga's death made her sad and probably insane, but that still didn't completely excuse all the crap she did!"'

''You don't understand,'' said the smart girl, even smarter than Miki. ''Who do you think made it so I'm alive?''

Utena, Miki and Juri didn't understand what she meant, but Anthy did.

''T... the author!'' exclaimed Anthy.

''Hello!'' said the author.

''Your story is crap!'' Nanami commented.

''I'm a good author! I finished tenth in a competition where there were seven authors!''

''He likes me in the series because he can relate to my problems, and he feels sorry about my death in the movie,'' explained the perfect gorgeous girl.

''I don't understand,'' said Utena. ''If he relates to her self-esteem problems, then why is he making her perfect in his story?''

''Utena, this is bad!'' said Anthy, ''He's a fanboy, and my magic is useless against pure stupidity! We should run away before...''

Too late. The author contaminated Anthy, Juri, Miki and Utena. They were doomed forever. Mikage, Nanami and Tsuwabuki weren't contaminated because the author had a bad memory and had forgotton they were there too.

''Shiori, I want to be your friend because you are awesome!'' Miki said

''Me too!'' Utena said. ''I'm such a failure compared to her!''

''You are very nice,'' Shiori said with her beautiful voice, ''but right now I want to pass the time with my lover Juri.''

''This is a honor for me, but this is strange... I thought in the movie continuity your lover was Touga and you hated me because he died when he rescued me.''

''Those are just little detail!'' exclaimed the author. ''Nobody cares!''

xx

Meanwhile, on a hill, a handsome prince was walking with his cute white horse. He was shirtless to please the female readers, which didn't make sense since the story was just text without pictures. He was happy at first, but then he suddenly felt something was wrong.

''That bitch Shiori is doing something to my Juri!'' exclaimed Ruka. ''I won't let her do that!''

Ruka used his horse and ran as quickly as possible, but he was very far from Utena's house and there were twelve tasks in his way! Would he succeed?

''Oh look!'' Tsuwabuki said, ''The author left the door open so the reader can decide if Juri ends up with Shiori or Ruka! He's nice.''

''I think he's just too lazy to write more,'' Nanami remarked.

xx

Meanwhile, at Ohtori, a car was crying.

''My brother went away without me,'' Kozue wept. ''Nobody cares about my fate in the movie, even the writer.''

The End


End file.
